Laguz -Water Element
Water has been popping up repeatedly and I just finally noticed it.
I have been working with Freya and ancestry work. It is slow going. Much of that has to do with my closed adoption. I have no information about my biological family and my adopted family was negligent or abusive. Lots of baggage there. I'm not really comfortable working with them. Maybe my grandmother would be open, but not real steady about the rest.
I re-read my devotional poem for Freya and noticed the association with water for her. I guess in my mind I made that connection. Not quite sure why personally. Lady with the Cup is one explanation. Connecting her to wyrd, The Norns, and the well of wyrd may be another. But in my most recent meditation she took me to a sea shore and told me I would be coming back again a few times. I think I need to process something and it might be connected to my ancestor work.
Then there was the lucid dreaming I had a few nights ago. Last night my dreams were vivid too, though not lucid, and featured rain, showering, and just water everywhere. She also told me in my meditation that I need to work with water. A little weird given my dominant element is fire.
The lucid dream that I had was so real I really thought it was happening. It felt like it was near the shore or even perhaps on a boat. The stained glass lamp, it looked like a purse, was swaying. I willed it to swing harder and faster until I said in my head, "I want you to break". Then it stopped. I felt this heat pass over my head, like the kind of heat I get when I rage about something and see red. When that passed I felt the covers pull down off of me and I got pulled with it. I called out to Freya and then woke up.
I remember being a bit confused about calling out to Her. Loki is basically my primary and it didn't even cross my mind to call to Him. Freya also spent those two days really close to me. I could feel Her around me and Loki was maintaining a distance. Normally I feel Him really strongly. Things have been different.
The meditation I had a few days later seemed to confirm this was not my memory but connected to an ancestor's experience. I dwell heavily on women and women's history and crimes against women. Naturally something like this was bound to come up. I also drew Laguz in the Rune reading for that meditation.
I also lost a cat recently to cancer so that grief has been heavy on my mind. I've been having some rough days. I have a sense of urgency as well. Like I need to start the next phase of my research and work now rather than taking a long break like I thought I would. I was planning on focusing on ancestors until July and then working on Runes against after Sirius Rising.
I'm going to try to juggle my ancestor work and the next round of Rune studies. I'll be working with Paxson's book and Freya Aswynn's book.
I have been working with Freya and ancestry work. It is slow going. Much of that has to do with my closed adoption. I have no information about my biological family and my adopted family was negligent or abusive. Lots of baggage there. I'm not really comfortable working with them. Maybe my grandmother would be open, but not real steady about the rest.
I re-read my devotional poem for Freya and noticed the association with water for her. I guess in my mind I made that connection. Not quite sure why personally. Lady with the Cup is one explanation. Connecting her to wyrd, The Norns, and the well of wyrd may be another. But in my most recent meditation she took me to a sea shore and told me I would be coming back again a few times. I think I need to process something and it might be connected to my ancestor work.
Then there was the lucid dreaming I had a few nights ago. Last night my dreams were vivid too, though not lucid, and featured rain, showering, and just water everywhere. She also told me in my meditation that I need to work with water. A little weird given my dominant element is fire.
The lucid dream that I had was so real I really thought it was happening. It felt like it was near the shore or even perhaps on a boat. The stained glass lamp, it looked like a purse, was swaying. I willed it to swing harder and faster until I said in my head, "I want you to break". Then it stopped. I felt this heat pass over my head, like the kind of heat I get when I rage about something and see red. When that passed I felt the covers pull down off of me and I got pulled with it. I called out to Freya and then woke up.
I remember being a bit confused about calling out to Her. Loki is basically my primary and it didn't even cross my mind to call to Him. Freya also spent those two days really close to me. I could feel Her around me and Loki was maintaining a distance. Normally I feel Him really strongly. Things have been different.
The meditation I had a few days later seemed to confirm this was not my memory but connected to an ancestor's experience. I dwell heavily on women and women's history and crimes against women. Naturally something like this was bound to come up. I also drew Laguz in the Rune reading for that meditation.
I also lost a cat recently to cancer so that grief has been heavy on my mind. I've been having some rough days. I have a sense of urgency as well. Like I need to start the next phase of my research and work now rather than taking a long break like I thought I would. I was planning on focusing on ancestors until July and then working on Runes against after Sirius Rising.
I'm going to try to juggle my ancestor work and the next round of Rune studies. I'll be working with Paxson's book and Freya Aswynn's book.
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