Ehwaz and Tiwaz- Part 1

So I had been struggling quite a bit yesterday.  I had a rough night and the doubts in my head were fierce.  Mostly, that the messages and "voices" I had been hearing may just be wishful thinking and a very vivid imagination.

I tried to pull runes yesterday morning to get some clarity and got a very vivid NO.  I had to put the bag down.  I even contacted a friend to get a psychic reading, which is something I never do.  I don't go to psychics as a rule.  I've been a witch more than half my life so I do my own readings and I am very suspicious of psychics that make a career out of it.

I'm still going to see a friend that I know and trust for help with clarity.  This is someone who I know is the real deal and also can be objective at the same time.  The psychic I saw last night was not so on top of things.  I got a real feeling that he was reading for a 25-year-old me and not the me I was now. It was maybe 30% accurate, stretching it.  Which may be partly my fault, I look young and my walls are really thick and hard to breach. I gave him nothing to go on.  I barely said anything.  But, that's how it is supposed to be done.

So before I went to this psychic last night, In the evening, I put some mead on the altar and practically begged to be allowed to read.  I got a nod of the head.  I was immensely grateful.
I'll have to do something more than pouring mead soon.  Maybe donate to a charity that provides books to kids.

The first rune that came up was Ehwaz. It is similar enough that at first I thought it was Mannaz until I thought about it for more than a second. Ehwaz is the one that looks like an M.  This is team work.  The meaning is horse and rider, and I have been watching a lot of Heartland on Netflix.   But this could also be deity and mortal.  I interpreted this as a message that what I was hearing was about the relationship I was having with deity.  It kinda confirmed that I was on the right track.  I need to develop this partnership with deity, but this also extends to the kindred and my friendships.

I need to reach out more and balance my relationships.  I also need to learn to trust and show that I am trustworthy.

But I had pulled this rune from my rune set that I had made.  The rune set I am using for the blog is separate.  When I pull a rune from that bag, I put it in a box to keep it out of the set so I know I'm going through them without repeats.

I decided to pull one from this bag as well for the blog.  I would have thought it was funny if I pulled Ehwaz again, but Tiwaz came out.

I think this is a really good sign.  Just my instinctive reading into it without the books.  Tiwaz is justice and right action.  It is a judicial rune as much as it is kingship or chieftain.  It is both a sign one is on the right path and a warning to choose your actions wisely.  Be cautious and proactive rather than reckless and reactive.  It connects to the world tree so it could be seen as the middle path up the tree.

So I've decided to do these two runes in this order over the next couple of weeks.  They are timely and I really think they might help me over this hurdle I've been struggling with in Faith and Belief.

I'm also picking up Diana Paxson's book  on Possession, Depossession, and Divine Relationships.
I'm not interested in "horsing" for the gods but the book covers other things like strengthening your self-identity so you don't lose yourself in your pursuit of evolution.  I've read her book  Trance-portation and have done some of the exercises.  I'll keep working on those as I read this book.


Altering my consciousness is something I was able to do when I was in my early twenties.  I had a really bad romantic relationship that made me numb for a long time and it feels like I have to rebuild from scratch the skills that used to come naturally.   Her books have really been helping.  I feel much more open than I did even last year.

So that's the plan unless something blows up.  Well, hopefully there will be some stability for a while.

Update:

Donation to Unicef.  Decided to make a donation to general fund rather than just the education fund.  Put it where it is needed, medicine, etc.

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