Laguz -Part 1
This one is personal.
Laguz has been following me all week. It has appeared in every reading I have done, about five readings so far. Yesterday I pulled it twice from two different sets. I've been trying to figure out what it could mean. Laguz is a rune of deep mystery, waterfalls, the well of wyrd, the subconscious mind. It could indicate hidden forces at work, or something I need to pay attention to with my subconscious. More than twice it appeared with Dagaz in the same reading. This could have something to do with a hidden force, or layers of orlog, contributing to a possible revelation moment. Wunjo and Uruz have appeared multiple times as well, but as a more subtle influence.
Perhaps to indicate the work that I am doing with fellowship and my physical health is having as a secondary effect on these things.
I'm still pondering this message.
Less subtle is the meditation I did when I pulled Laguz as my galdr rune. I've been using galdr to help get me into a receptive state for deeper meditation. It seems to be working, as the state I reach without it is very shallow. This time when I galdred Laguz I really focused on its watery aspect. I sat down to do the meditation afterward and began thinking about how rivers and lakes played a part in my life. I thought back to the water on grandma's farm; the pond, the freshwater spring, the brook that we fished in. Then I remembered all those times when I was a kid that I went to the river with my friend. This friend had been in my life since third grade. We waded in the shallows of the river and caught fish or crayfish. We rode the torrent from where the concrete damn had a break in it. We crossed the river near the bridge where the water was up to our necks. And then there was the time at the footbridge when the kids would climb down the railroad tracks to the ledge on top of the concrete support column and jump into the water. That was scary. My friend did it but I didn't. I went wading in the mud with another girl who also wouldn't jump.
I started to miss my friend. We had been through a lot as kids together, lost touch in high school, and then started writing to each other pretty frequently in college and beyond. She died in 2011 right before my daughter was born. I missed her and I started sobbing. It felt like it slapped me out of nowhere.
After the meditation, I wrote down what had happened and what I had thought about. I pulled her old letters out of the closet and started re-reading them. One thing that struck me strongly was a letter she wrote in 2004 roughly. In it she said we should make a pact that when we are 40 we travel somewhere and do something crazy together like Mardi Gras or something. That felt like a punch in the gut.
In reading the other letters, she reminded me of parts of myself that I forgot about; my creativity, my strength, how lucky I have been in my life. I remembered who I had tried to be and who I had tried to become. Even the disappointments that I had forgotten about. Guess they weren't that earth shattering. We had a really strong bond. The kind that called to each other over long distances.
She had been in Indiana when I was in my first four years of college. I had had a really tough week and then three meal shifts in a row. I think it was a Saturday in between shifts, I was lying in bed sobbing, totally broken down (probably just sleep deprived, stressed, and exhausted) and the phone rang. I picked it up and it was her. I recognized her voice. It was such a shock I didn't quite know what to say. We had a very brief conversation and then she said she would write to me. She had gotten my number and address from my mom. It completely lifted my mood and replenished my strength.
Later in a letter she told me she had woken that very morning with this desperate need to contact me, like it was urgent and important. Even though it had been maybe 7 years since we had talked, she reached out. I kinda feel like she reached out this week as well, but I'm still not completely certain why.
I did go through a deep depression this fall with the changing season and a horrible cold that would not leave for 3 months. This is something I'm going to have to keep working on to figure it out. Unless it was to remind me of who I am, or was, or could be and just to remember her. She had a joy and thankfulness about her that was unusual in general. She always talked about the sunshine, birds, the plants she was growing, her animals on the farm she rented. She loved life and really seemed to cherish her time here.
Maybe focusing on some thankfulness would do me good.
Sorry this got so personal, but it's really been dogging me this week and I'm trying to suss it out.
Laguz has been following me all week. It has appeared in every reading I have done, about five readings so far. Yesterday I pulled it twice from two different sets. I've been trying to figure out what it could mean. Laguz is a rune of deep mystery, waterfalls, the well of wyrd, the subconscious mind. It could indicate hidden forces at work, or something I need to pay attention to with my subconscious. More than twice it appeared with Dagaz in the same reading. This could have something to do with a hidden force, or layers of orlog, contributing to a possible revelation moment. Wunjo and Uruz have appeared multiple times as well, but as a more subtle influence.
Perhaps to indicate the work that I am doing with fellowship and my physical health is having as a secondary effect on these things.
I'm still pondering this message.
Less subtle is the meditation I did when I pulled Laguz as my galdr rune. I've been using galdr to help get me into a receptive state for deeper meditation. It seems to be working, as the state I reach without it is very shallow. This time when I galdred Laguz I really focused on its watery aspect. I sat down to do the meditation afterward and began thinking about how rivers and lakes played a part in my life. I thought back to the water on grandma's farm; the pond, the freshwater spring, the brook that we fished in. Then I remembered all those times when I was a kid that I went to the river with my friend. This friend had been in my life since third grade. We waded in the shallows of the river and caught fish or crayfish. We rode the torrent from where the concrete damn had a break in it. We crossed the river near the bridge where the water was up to our necks. And then there was the time at the footbridge when the kids would climb down the railroad tracks to the ledge on top of the concrete support column and jump into the water. That was scary. My friend did it but I didn't. I went wading in the mud with another girl who also wouldn't jump.
I started to miss my friend. We had been through a lot as kids together, lost touch in high school, and then started writing to each other pretty frequently in college and beyond. She died in 2011 right before my daughter was born. I missed her and I started sobbing. It felt like it slapped me out of nowhere.
After the meditation, I wrote down what had happened and what I had thought about. I pulled her old letters out of the closet and started re-reading them. One thing that struck me strongly was a letter she wrote in 2004 roughly. In it she said we should make a pact that when we are 40 we travel somewhere and do something crazy together like Mardi Gras or something. That felt like a punch in the gut.
In reading the other letters, she reminded me of parts of myself that I forgot about; my creativity, my strength, how lucky I have been in my life. I remembered who I had tried to be and who I had tried to become. Even the disappointments that I had forgotten about. Guess they weren't that earth shattering. We had a really strong bond. The kind that called to each other over long distances.
She had been in Indiana when I was in my first four years of college. I had had a really tough week and then three meal shifts in a row. I think it was a Saturday in between shifts, I was lying in bed sobbing, totally broken down (probably just sleep deprived, stressed, and exhausted) and the phone rang. I picked it up and it was her. I recognized her voice. It was such a shock I didn't quite know what to say. We had a very brief conversation and then she said she would write to me. She had gotten my number and address from my mom. It completely lifted my mood and replenished my strength.
Later in a letter she told me she had woken that very morning with this desperate need to contact me, like it was urgent and important. Even though it had been maybe 7 years since we had talked, she reached out. I kinda feel like she reached out this week as well, but I'm still not completely certain why.
I did go through a deep depression this fall with the changing season and a horrible cold that would not leave for 3 months. This is something I'm going to have to keep working on to figure it out. Unless it was to remind me of who I am, or was, or could be and just to remember her. She had a joy and thankfulness about her that was unusual in general. She always talked about the sunshine, birds, the plants she was growing, her animals on the farm she rented. She loved life and really seemed to cherish her time here.
Maybe focusing on some thankfulness would do me good.
Sorry this got so personal, but it's really been dogging me this week and I'm trying to suss it out.
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